Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Malicious Code

In the late 90s, a malicious file began appearing in many people's email inbox.The email had the subject "Los Angeles" and the sender line was blank. The date sent was September 10, 1990. The actual text of the email was appeared to be random numbers.

Most people regarded it as spam and deleted it. However, they would soon receive the email again. The more frequently it was deleted, the more frequently it would appear in the recipient's inbox. It seemed as if the email was begging to be read all the way through, pleading, moaning.

At some point, for many people, they would grow angry at the persistent email. Even blocking the sender couldn't stop the email from getting through. Some people chose to respond to the email, but only received the same scrambled numbers back. Some chose to create a new email, but even that wouldn't prevent them from receiving it.

Finally, a very few who grew tired of the constant barrage actually sat down and read every number from the first to last, trying to figure out what was going on. It was more than just spam; it was something important. Something serious. Why else would it be continously sent?

An uncountable amount of time was spent trying to decipher the meaning behind these numbers, but for the unlucky people who chose to attempt it, they only failed. Interestingly, anyone who tried never gave up. They continued to pursue this deciphering, whatever the cost.

It wasn't until a year later that strange effects started to appear in those who had been reverently studying the code. Sudden outbursts were the main symptom, these usually occurring after reading the code fully. Other times, they would lay on the floor and spin around but just as quickly stand up. The final effect of reading the code, however, was always the same.

Rage. Uncontrollable rage. These people would soon attack anyone who came near them, attempting to reach into the mouths of their victims and pull out their throats from the inside. Many people died because of this.

The sudden bursts of murders caused from this malicious code finally caught the government's eye. On May 20, 1996, they finally managed to cease this email from sending any more to any addresses.

This was not the end of it, however. The government was interested. A list of numbers that could drive a man mad was something that held great potential. Giving this code to their experts - who had signed away their lives, knowing the risk - they waited for the results of how it worked and its meaning.

To their surprise, they quickly received an answer. The code was not just random numbers. It was a program that could play an audio file. They quickly put this program together in functionality and played the audio it held. What they heard was revolutionary. It was beyond what they ever expected to hear. It drove them mad.

Pressing play, a familiar, horrible voice began to say the following words: "Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down-"

19 comments:

  1. Hmm.
    I'm thinking Prince of Belair?

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  2. Heh, rage. I get it.

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  3. I just got my ass mother fucking owned!

    But I was expecting it to be the lavender town tone.

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  4. KB So Was I Considering The Whole "Hands Down Throats" Thing Was Put In There As well...

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  5. THEN WHO WAS WILL SMITH????

    Oh, right.

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  6. WTF!? I got more confused than scared.

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  7. I see.

    I'd get pissed to if I spent years de-coding shit and it turned out to be that.

    Fucking /b/.

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  8. I didnt understand a goddamn thing about this, really if someone can explain it to me, that would be superb

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  9. ^same

    It just made go "Whaa?"

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  10. The Fresh Prince theme is an internet meme from /b/. It's a joke. Read this, it'll explain it: http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Bel-Air

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  11. I would have liked it more if there had been a link that said "This is the audio file", linking to something like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=023Cl2IvS8w. But good one anyway. 4/5.

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  12. GAH DAMMIT!!! -breaks everything and kills everyone in a 30 foot radius-

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  13. I see what you did there... This made me rofl, very funny ending. I just got Bel-Aired, didn't I.

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  14. Agh! I got Bel-Aired!!! damn it!

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  15. I didn't read the words should I?

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  16. I was so seriously reading it until the last sentence, "Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down," and then I thought, "Where have I heard these words before?"...O_O .....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~ RAAAGE!!!! This is hilarious though.

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  17. I can see why the people raged... They realized they'd been Bel-Aired...

    Fucking LOVED the story, anyway!

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