Initially, it started out as a simple distortion and dialogue between a friend and I. They were a good friend of mine and we were talking on AIM when it happened.
I signed onto my account late one night around three or four AM because I couldn't sleep and I noticed my friend was online. For argument's sake, let's call her Janna1300. I say for argument's sake because I honestly don't remember what the hell her username was.
Anyway, she was on and I didn't pay too much attention. She's my ex-girlfriend, you see. I dated her about 2 1/2 years ago. She and I had a good run, but we broke up on pretty poor terms. I didn't want to delete her, though. I always had hope we might end up back together again.
I ignored her and my AIM was pretty much empty. I didn't intend to talk to anyone unless they personally contacted me - at this time of night, it would have been just rude to IM anyone.
I scanned the internet for a while, looking for something to entertain myself with until I fell asleep. I figured cool songs/videos on Youtube would put me to sleep and creepy stories would keep me awake, so it was a win/win at this point. I couldn't find anything, of course, but my fruitless search had done me in for the night. I was about to pass out.
That's when it happened.
An AIM window popped open with a loud BING. it was Janna1300. The following is a quick excerpt of what she and I exchanged back and forth.
Janna1300: Hey
Me: Hey
Janna1300: What's up?
Me: Nothing, you?
Janna1300: Nothing.
Janna1300: It's really cold in my house.
Me: Haha
Janna1300: -.- Shut up, it's freezing.
Me: Get under a blanket
Janna1300: I am
Janna1300: Like 4
Janna1300: And my snuggie :D
Me: Loser
Janna1300: You're just jealous I can use the computer WHILE keeping my arms warm.
Janna1300: At. The. Same. Time.
Janna1300: :D
Me: LOL
Me: I hate you
Janna1300: Nah, it's cool
Then she disappeared for around ten minutes. I sent her a couple of messages with no reply.
Me: lol
Me: So anything else new?
Me: You fall asleep?
Me: Well, goodnight lol
I closed my computer and didn't turn my AIM off, as I frequently never did. Before the laptop went to sleep, however, I got another audible bing.
Janna1300:
It was a blank message, which was odd for her. I began messaging her back and some really strange stuff began to happen.
Me: Hey? You there?
Me: ...
Janna1300: //
Me: hello?
Janna1300: Hey
Me: What happened there?
Janna1300: What do you mean?
Me: You like, sent two blank texts?
Janna1300: No I didn't?
Me: Yeah, hold on
Me: "Janna1300: " "Janna1300: //"
Me: See?
Janna1300: That's weird. I didn't even type it.
Me: Really?
Janna1300: Yeah.
Me: Maybe a virus?
Me: or maybe you're just crazy
Me: lol
Janna1300: Shut up asshole
Me: <3
Janna1300: 3
Me: :(
Janna1300: <333333
Me: <3333
Janna1300: Its really cold in my house.
It was now that she started repeating stuff. I won't dull you with the information and what she said, but basically it was disturbing and creepy. She was a good girl - like an A student. For her to be having short term memory loss about what she said to me not even a day ago was really weird. She was hostile about it, too.
Janna1300: It's really cold here.
Me: Yes, I know
Janna1300: How do you know?
Me: You've told me like 5 times
Jana1300: No I haven't?
Me: Yes you have lol
Me: It's cool though
Me: Idc
Janna1300: Idk what your talking about
Janna1300: But if you're gonna be childish about it
Janna1300: Then I ////'';a's;
Me: Wait can you repeat that last bit?
Janna1300: What?
Me: It didn't come through right
Janna1300: I said
Janna1300: Then you can shut the fuck up because I don't feel like dealing with it
She was pissed. Needless to say, I was still convinced her computer had a virus. Something was up with her AIM, too, so I assumed she was either:
- Extremely tired and therefore forgetting little things
- Her computer had some sort of virus that was pissing her off, so she was very short tempered.
Hell, it could have been both for all I know. I chocked it up to nothing and mentioned to her that I was about to sign off. There was silence for about ten minutes, so I assumed she wasn't going to say goodbye because she was angry. That was her way these days. It hurt, but I sort of didn't care. That's when she started replying again.
Janna1300: Wait
It took her about twenty minutes to respond again.
Janna1300: Can I ask you something>
Me: Yeah, what's up?
Janna1300: What degrees is it outside?
Me: I don't know, maybe 50?
It doesn't sound cold, but coming right out of summer it was a frigid atmosphere out there.
Janna1300: My fingers, I can't feel them. And I can see my breathe
Me: Woah
Me: Cold house lol
Janna1300: Shu p
Janna1300: itsreally old
Me: You should probably go to bed
Me: Save your fingers some
Janna1300: Cant slep
Me: :/
It was about 5:30 coming on 6:00. I was exhausted, but I didn't want to leave her to be cold. She sounded scared, too. I know that sound dumb, but she sounded legitimately worried and scared. I should have listened.
Me: Look, I'm exhausted and I can tell you are.
Janna1300: My nail fell off.
Me: What?
Janna1300: Hold on, I'll forward yiup apixturw
She sent me a picture of her hand. Her fingers were a dark blue toward the tips, ranging on black and possibly frostbitten. The nail on her ring finger had completely fallen off. It was disgusting.
Me: Oh my god! Janna!
Janna1300: I knw
Her replies started coming in really fast. She seemed scared, almost.
Janna1300: ajdhsaihfaf
Janna1300: /////''''-=++______
Me: Janna?
Janna1300: Hlp
Me: What?
Janna1300: Cn i seeyio
Me: Do you want me to come over?
Janna1300: Wbecam
Me: On aim?
Janna1300: No, its acting reay weord
Me: I agree
Janna1300:
Janna1300:
Janna1300:
She sent me about a hundred blank texts before her AIM went dead. I wasn't about to go to sleep. I was worried for her.
I heard a bang. Fuck. I'm afraid of the dark and I heard a bang. A loud one, too. It was coming from the other room, like someone was walking into the house and closing the door in frustration. I didn't want to leave my computer for fear that Janna might return, but I didn't want to not leave my computer for fear of what might be in my house.
I choked up a reasonable excuse in my head: my parents would have heard the house if it was anything but my imagination. If I didn't hear anything for another maybe...ten minutes, I would check.
It was then that I received a Skype message. You know what Skype is, right? It's like a telephone or something you can video chat with people on your computer. We used to use it because she lives 45 minutes from me. I haven't used Skype since she left me though.
I got a message from Janna1300 - a video request. I clicked yes and a video opened up. My image appeared first and it took a couple minutes to see hers.
She was shivering, her breath easily visible. She was panting, as if in fear; I would have been, too. She was crying, ice forming around her eyes in extreme cold. I didn't know what to say.
It was silent for a few moments. She leaned in closer to the image, as if squinting to see me. "I can't see you," I heard from her, but the video had become corrupted by something and a small distoring sound was starting over it.
The sound was like the humming of a bird, but in a metalic and painful way. After a minute of that and my stunned appearance, my picture froze as well. Now, in regular intervals, the sound of a pig squealing and a grinding of gears against smooth metal could be heard overlapping. At each interval, the camera's pictures would become darker. It was weird. I could hear Janna crying.
"Don't cry," I said in a low tone. I don't know if she heard me. She continued to cry. "You need to get outside. It's warmer out there than inside the house, from the sounds of it."
I'm a very grounded and down to earth person, but to be honest, I don't know what I thought. I - it wasn't right. She wasn't right, she wasn't Janna. She was, something...different. And there's no way the house she's in was THAT cold.
I was incredibly worried. Suddenly, the sound cut out and the video cut back in on hers. She was sitting, silently quivering, and it was clearly still extremely cold. Her skin, on the tip of her nose, was dark black and dead. It was peeling away to a pure white below it.
She was wobbling, slowly but it was noticeable. Her eyes were sunken in, in a black shape. Behind her there was a figure. A disturbingly white figure. It was standing in her window, and as it slinked away, the camera cut.
Static buzzed into my ear and then my Skype message cut out. I was freaked out. I needed to know what happened, and needed to make sure that Janna was okay. I scrambled out of bed.
It was now I heard a faint scratching out in the hallway. A very faint one, as if a person had scratched all their nails off, and had to keep scratching out of fear. It was low, and consistent. I took a hugely deep breathe, and grabbed my doorknob.
It was freezing. By freezing, I meant FUCKING. FREEZING. I pulled my hand back and breathed out, watching my breath form into a small haze below my mouth. I was scared now.
I blinked slowly, closing my eyes and opening the door. As it opened, I felt the most intense feeling of my entire life. It was pure hatred, pure evil. An energy flow of death, and an equal pressure on my chest. All the lights in my house were off, every single one.
And being that it was winter, it was absolutely pitch black and completely silent. I didn't want to turn the lights on, but I felt as though I had to. I exited my room slowly, feeling not he wall for the light switch. When I reached it, I clicked it on.
Empty. Thank god.
The house was empty and I was crazy. Good. I'd rather be crazy than dead any day. I began to gather my things to leave the house. Even though I knew I wasn't going to be killed, I needed to get to Janna's house to make sure she was okay.
She looked half dead and that…thing….in the back of her image. I needed to make sure she was okay. I turned off the lights as I left, being that I was sneaking out, and decided to rush out the back door.
I reached the backdoor and a feeling of dread fell over me. The scratching, that horrible scratching that will never leave my mind, was there in front of me. Something, something small and frail, something snow white, was sitting on its butt outside. Its arms and legs each led to hands, all bleeding because of the scraping on my door.
Then the creature looked at me.
(This story is credited to a person called Guiv.)
Interesting. the one thing that annoyed me was how the setting changed. earlier in the story it was late summer/early fall but later it said winter.
ReplyDeleteI noticed the same but assume it was the effect of the creature. The victim becomes deluded to excuse the strange cold - "oh it must be winter or the AC is on."
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent. I love this.
ReplyDeleteUgh this creeped me out. The latest pastas are doing that to me.
ReplyDeleteActually, he didn't say it was summer
ReplyDelete"coming right out of summer"
Meaning fall.
Maybe when whoever wrote it was writing, he forgot he sad it was right after summer. He may have meant to say fall.
Also: Was the "creature" Janna300? I kinda seems like it...
"coming right out of summer" is in the progressive so it could still be summer but just ending. I figured it was the creature that killed Janna
ReplyDeleteAnon: I highly doubt it was Janna, since the white creature was behind her when they skyped.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really didn't like the sudden ending of the story. It was pretty good up until that part, felt like the writer just got tired of the story and decided to end it abruptly.
wow this blew, maybe next time Ill put up a conversation of my ex boiling water, also he didnt remember her sn but she was his ex? and the story started out as if the narrator were telling it as a past event, though in the end it seems he wont get to live much longer, blah crap writers..
ReplyDeleteI kept expecting her to text "We are cold".
ReplyDeletethis story was awful. It didnt go anywhere, and the ending was painfully tacked on.
ReplyDeleteEasy people... We don't even know if he still alive or if the creature killed him. He wasn't in bad conditions like Janna when the creature appeared, so he might just ran away before it catch him. The creature could be Janna, who told not? What if it's some kind of mutation? The autor says that it was a very faint scratch, like the creature was without his nails and Janna lost her nails, remember? What if she was suffering a mutation? What if the creaure was an alien? I liked the story, it creeped me out, since it was hot in here then suddenly was cold while I was reading this o_O
ReplyDeleteIt could be her if it was a mutation, but the same-looking creature was behind her during the chat
ReplyDeleteLoved the story but the ending was anti-climactic. The ending totally kills the story, cause its ends abruptly.
ReplyDeleteWhy are the anons always the haters?
ReplyDelete@Lecram If he's dead, how did he write the story? And if he killed him right after the end of the story, that would mean the writer quickly went to his computer to type this, instead of GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF THERE like he should have.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I find this mediocre. Good setup and events, but ending left a LOT to be desired.
This is probably the best pasta from this one on till the "Ichor" post. It builds tension well.
ReplyDelete*instantly regrets reading this*
ReplyDeleteI am so startled :( TASTY PASTA
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story, but the ending really sucked. I get that it was supposed be abrupt, as if the main character just died when the creature looked at him or something, but it just was too unfinished.
ReplyDeleteI think it'd be a good idea to chain the series together as more gets posted, to alleviate some of this 'abrupt ending' confusion. I like it, so far.
ReplyDelete"hey guys I'm gonna write this awesome story but when I see the creature I die" so uh how exactly would he have wrote it if when he saw it he died or if he didn't die… why exactly would he tell everyone? And that's how you can tell… he's crazy.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was related to the whole 'Piche' thing or whatever, seeing as it had hands for feet, and the whole 'don't look into its eyes' thing, ending with them looking at them.
ReplyDeleteMy apologies if I'm stating the obvious or anything like that. I understand that it might not be smart to write a pasta based off another one, as not everyone has read them, but... yeah.
im coming for you ALL
ReplyDeleteCreepy throughout the story, AIM screwing up, Janna succumbing to Frostbite... but the end was weird. We never figure out what happened to Janna, and the white thing sounds almost exactly like the Forest Creature creepypasta. Lots of creepy elements overall but they aren't chalked up to anything. 6/10.
ReplyDeletei was sweating before i read this when i was done i was freezing!!!!!!!! creepy
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