Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Special Meat

Ever since my dad left, my mom has been serving up "special meat." She said that daddy was giving it to us and I should never look in the fridge in the basement. Needless to say, I got incredibly curious. One night, at around midnight, I snuck into the basement and looked in the fridge. What I saw there haunts me to this day.
It was none other than my father, with cube neatly sliced out of his torso and limbs. I screamed, waking up my mom. She instantly knew what I had done and ran up to the kitchen to grab her cleaver. I, on the other hand, was too stunned to move until my mom came into the basement. She was swinging the cleaver like a maniac, all the while trying to coax me to stop running. "It's okay," she goaded in that motherly voice.

After running in circles around the house many times, I realized my mom had locked the door at some point. Inevitably, she caught me. She pinned me to the ground and started chopping off my limbs, one by one. The next day, I was sitting in a wheelchair, all bandaged up. My mom once muttered, "Now you know," but I didn't question it.

I think I know where special meat comes from now.

22 comments:

  1. How the heck is the lad writing if all his limbs have been chopped off.

    Icky pasta.

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  2. If I said that I just read a great pasta I would be the world's biggest liar. The meat item was obvious from the first 5 or less words. Just read the title and the 5 or less words and you read the story...

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  3. Either this is a parody or the someone unintentionally wrote the worst pasta ever.

    The title gives away absolutely everything about the story you need to know, the twist, if you can call it that, can be seen from miles away.

    In fact, the only "twisty" thing about the story is that the narrator survives.

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  4. Somebody shat in this pasta.

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  5. this is.... ? i dont even..

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  6. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I read a tl;dr version of this that was so much better...

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  7. Dat meat.
    Dat crappy pasta.

    Is this a joke? Dear god, this is poorly written.

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  8. Waiter! There's a fly in my pasta!

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  9. REALLY? YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THE SPECIAL MEAT COMES FROM NOW? REALLY?

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  10. This pasta is cold! :<

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  11. Can... Can we take internet away from this guy?

    Please?

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  12. Wait so she just goes to McDonalds right.

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  13. why am I commenting on this ?

    ... "never look in the fridge in the basement".

    That's the line that gives it away, and still I knew the ending way before that.

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  14. Waiter There's a piece of shit in my pasta! The title and the first few lines give it away seriously.

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  15. No, no.
    There was no shit in this pasta.
    There was a noodle in this shit.
    I knew the whole story before I even saw the title.

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  16. Then who was meat?

    But seriously though, terrible pasta is terrible.

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  17. Haha! "I knew the twist all along!" I used to watch movies with people like that and sometimes they had the right to brag but...pretty sure we can safely assume we all figured it out. Give yourself a pat on the back :) Really though, try giving some constructive crit. as to why this one isn't very good.

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  18. You are supposed to put CREEPY pasta on here obviously you misread and thought you're supposed to put crappy pasta

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  19. I read it from the POV of a young child, so it seems appropriate that the description used be simple and direct. I'd actually give a +1 for language use in context.

    Though..very obvious what it's gonna be just from the title >: very unoriginal story and -1 for that.

    and that makes it so-so.

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