Thursday, August 19, 2010


So I was lying in bed almost asleep when I imagined that I saw this light in the void on the backs of my eyelids. It was like a lantern in the distance, and it was bobbing up and down, back and forth, kind of like a U-shaped loop. And I was seized with an indescribable and irrational fear. I knew there was just something wrong with that light. I didn't know if it was held by something, or if it was the face or eye of something, but that silly little bobbing light was something horrible and sinister. Whatever was behind it, or holding it was cloaked in darkness itself. And I knew that it was coming for me.

And yet... and yet....

I have never been much of a believer in that whole rehabilitation thing... Bad people are only bad because their mommies didn't love them or whatever. I know that some people, and possibly entities are truly evil. And yet, I saw... not saw.... more like felt... sensed. I sensed, that there was something slightly less than pure evil behind this thing. For a brief instant, I knew its pain. Immediately, my fear transformed into sorrow and sympathy. I began to cry for this thing. I felt an overwhelming sense of love for it.

And before my closed eyes, the shadows exploded and where there was only a little pinpoint of light there were all these glowing bluish things. They looked like those typical cartoony ghosts, and they all had those "hole faces" like cartoon ghosts have, but instead of moaning and sad faces, they looked relieved and like they were crying, but happy. There were somewhere between 20 and 50 of them. I somehow managed to hug them all to myself and give them pure love for a few seconds, and then they all dispersed and disappeared in every direction. I got the sense that they had all been freed from a long period of suffering.

I now saw some kind of room. On the floor was a burned-out lantern. I found I could not open my eyes, but I felt drawn to the lantern. When I picked it up, a flame lit itself inside the lantern. And then I could open my eyes.

I was wide awake. What I experienced, I didn't *think* was a dream, but now I don't know. Sometimes at night, I dream that I am walking down a long dark path, wearing a cloak, and carrying that lantern. And I feel nothing but sorrow. Such deep sorrow that I begin to hate the world. And as I walk, I find souls who can't quite find their way to either side of the veil between worlds. And in my anger I gather them. And with each one I take, I begin to fade just a little... just a little.