Monday, June 13, 2011

I'm Your Problem Now

On any night with a crescent moon, open Winamp, iTunes, or any other music program you might have on your computer that has a shuffle program. Empty your mind and keep clicking the forward button. If you’re rather unlucky a song named “I’m your problem now.mp3″ will start playing. For the first minute it will be completely silent.

Close your eyes when the screams start and DO NOT OPEN THEM FOR ANY REASON. Horrible imagery will fill your mind, of corpses and unimaginable evil. This will happen as a full seven minutes of this song’s horrible symphony of screams and sounds continues.

IF you make it through those torturous seven minutes, you will wake up on a bench in a deserted Greyhound station. A faceless man at the other end of the station will offer you a cigarette. If you don’t accept it, your eyes will open and the song will be gone and no time will have passed. If you choose to accept it, however, this man will divulge to you the secrets of life.

After you’re done smoking, take the ticket out of his pocket and board the bus coming into the station. You will awake back in your house, and exactly twelve minutes will have passed since you started listening. The problem is that anyone who has survived the song goes insane from the information they’ve just learned.

Be warned, should you succeed; through any polished surface–be it mirror, wood, or window–your reflection will always be watching.

15 comments:

  1. The rotation of the earth: Making songs appear on itunes and making mirrors do what mirrors do best!

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  2. Then just why on earth would I go through with this? These Rituals never seem to have any benefit, other than "do this, omfg scary stuff, do this or else, but if you do then you go insane lololz".

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  3. Anon2: I don't know, but I'd pity the people who accidentally end up doing these rituals.

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  4. Come on. Be original. So tell us some ritual - that I liked - and just tell us what to do but not how you found it or what happens if we open are eyes. What could possibly happen. If you found out that much you should know more.

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  5. if you go insane then where do the stories come from? how did you learn this? cold pasta is cold. micro wave for 15 more seconds.

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  6. Really? Were you even trying to make a good story?

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  7. As I read, I didn't understand, because for some reason I read "problem" as "pokémon".

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  8. I liked how this started, where it was going and how I thought it would end. But the ending drops the ball for me.

    The part about going insane needs to be removed, as well as the last line. I like the part about the man and the cigarette. There is some narrative awesomeness happening there. The rest isn't necessary.

    The entire ordeal is enough to make it detached from reality. That alone is enough to creep someone out.

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  9. I'd be worried if my reflection wasn't watching me.

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  10. Really people? Just cuz creepy posted it doesn't mean it has to be true, I mean do you rag in Stephen king for his stories not being real?

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  11. xDDDD
    Anon of Dec 15
    You made my day.

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