Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Elaborate Suicide Attempt

After his business failed and his wife left, a man decided to kill himself, but he wanted to be sure that eh wouldn't botch the operation. After some thought, he decided that hanging would be the bet method. He found a tree with a stout limb reaching out over the edge of a cliff 50 feet above the sea and chose his spot for the suicide.

Although he was eager to leave this world, he did not want to feel any pain. So he collected a few dozen sleeping pills. Of course, sleeping pills don't work immediately, and the man had read terrible stories of people who had taken half an hour to die at the end of a rope. He decided to shoot himself, too - jest to be on the safe side.

On the day he decided would be his last day, the man took the rope, the sleeping pills and the gun to the cliff. He swallowed the sleeping pills. He tied the rope to the branch and slipped the noose around his neck. He put the gun to his head and as he steeped off the edge of the cliff, he fired.

But the sudden drop threw off the man's aim. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope instead. The man plunged into the sea where he swallowed so much sea water that he vomited up the sleeping pills.

He swam ashore and resolved not to attempt suicide again.


  1. This got a laugh outta me. This is a nice piece of retardant, thanks for sharing.

  2. Basejumping without a parachute isn't as popular these days anymore now is it?

  3. Didn't this actually happen?
    Also, Creepypasta flood, F Yeah.

  4. A cool story, but i doubt it's true.Mainly do to the whole shooting through the rope thing.Mythbusters a did a full episode on that very thing.End results, a complete myth only seen in movies and stories.Back in the real world shooting a rope with a gun does not cut it.Just singes it at the point of impact while deflecting the bullet slightly off to the side if it's taunt enough, or moving out of it's way if hanging lose.How is that possible you may ask??Because you got to keep in mind that a bullet is a blunt object with no edge. No matter how fast it traveling it can't really "cut" what it hits just sorta break through, and rope simply has to many interwoven strands for that.It's essentially the same thing as a bullet proof vest just in a different form.

  5. I think teh man is a pretty cool guy. Eh wanted to make sure "eh wouldn't botch the operation" and doesn't afraid of anything.

  6. Even if this is supossed to be a joke, there is no excuse for the terrible spelling.

  7. Oh man, I remember this story from....well, it's pretty much been around forever.

    Ah the memories.

  8. So hoboitup.. your saying we should use rope as bulletproof vests?

  9. If you covered your body in rope and found a way to keep them tied together.Then yes it would serve as a completely bullet proof vest.However that would be highly cumbersome and impractical.Hince why the military takes the same concept and makes it into a more Mobile,and lighter vest.All it is hundreds of thousands of tiny Kevlar stings criss crossed and woven together to form one super dense mesh.That serves a net to catch bullets and keep it from penetrating.A rope is just a bulkier more primitive form of the same thing.Thousands of individual stings woven together to form one super dense larger sting.

  10. P.s this blog could really use a edit feature.Just realized i put "sting' instead of "string" throughout that whole thing and have no way of correcting it lol.

  11. Hobo, yes myth busters DID bust the myth however they were using what bags of sand to weigh down the ropes? He had missed his shot and hit the rope I'm sure the weight of the man would tear the rope apart.


  13. hobo_it_up, ummm stories online, unless they have works cited pages, don't need to make sense, you can right a story about how someone jumped off a cliff and went up instead, but i would prbly say thats defying gravity would'nt you? Calm down is basically what im saying, plz dont flame me or get mad :D

  14. My favorite song this just reminded me of it
    I Set My Friends On Fire
    Reese's Pieces, I Don't Know Who John Cleese Is

    With a wire wrapped around his neck,
    Tightly tied to a tree,
    There he stood on the top of the cliff,
    With his inanimate life, above the sea.
    He drinks his virulent drink.
    And sets himself on fire.

    Pulls the trigger though the midair;
    Misses his head and snaps the wire.
    Now choking and strangling in the water,
    His body begins to sink.
    Not only did that put out the flames.
    But he regurgitated his drink.
    This wasn't the worse thing that could happen... yes it is.
    We're dying slowing again... we're dying
    Slowly again?

    More lyrics:

  15. patch kit Remove the valve cap and fully deflate the tube by depressing the valve ICAbike01 stem with the hooked end of your tire lever. There are two main types of valve stems, a schrader valve and a presta valve. This tutorial is based on a schrader valve, but I will be covering the different valve types in another tutorial.
    Now it’s time to remove your tire, [url=]carbon fiber rims[/url]oneside at a time. Choose a section of tire that is away from the valve and hook one of the tire levers under the bead, directly in line with one of your spokes. Pry one side of the tire bead over the edge of the rim, and then hook the end of the tire lever to the nearest spoke. Insert another tire lever two spokes away from the first, and a third another two spokes away. Now the middle lever should fall out, and you can continue the process. When the tire is loose enough you can just run a tire lever around the rest of the rim to pull the whole side over.
    After you have removed one side of the tire, the other side should come off very easily.
    Ispect Tube
    ow remove the tube from the tire, and try to keep track ICAbike01 of [url=]carbon bike rims[/url]where it was positioned in relation to the tire. Inflate the tube to approximately twice its original size. This will expand the hole making it easier to find.
    Listen carefully to the entire circumference of the tube; you should hear a hissing sound that will indicate where the leak is. As a last resort you can submerge the tube in water and watch for bubbles, but you’ll want to avoid doing this as you’ll need the tube to be completely dry in order for the patch glue to work.
    Once you’ve found the leak, take note of [url=]carbon bicycle rims[/url]whether it is on the inner or outer side of the tube.
    I don’t recommend using either motor oil or 3in1 oil to lubricate the chain. Motor oil is too heavy and won’t fully penetrate the rollers, and 3in1 oil is vegetable based and will gum up the chain. I also don’t recommend using wax lubricants because while they don’t collect as much dirt, they are a lot of hassle to apply correctly, and wax is simply not as good a lubricant as oil. I do recommend mineral based chain oils like Finish Line Cross Country or Phil Wood Tenacious Oil because they do the best job of fighting corrosion and don’t wash away when they get wet.
    Chain Cleaning
    For cleaning, first shift the chain into the [url=]zipp 404[/url]smallest sprocket on the rear. For average dust and dirt, wipe the chain clean with a solvent soaked rag. The easiest way to do this is to hold the chain still at the rear derailleur cage while firmly wiping the lower run of the chain. Then move the chain backward and wipe again until you’ve wiped the entire length of chain. Wipe between the rear sprockets using either a rag or a sprocket cleaning tool. Then clean all of the front chainrings on both sides.
    Shift your gears into the middle sprocket both front and rear. Remember that oil does a good job of spreading itself, so try not to over-apply the lubricant. Lubricate the inner circumference of the chain, on the side that faces the sprockets along the top of the lower run of the chain. Run the chain backwards while dropping oil down both sides of the rollers.
    Shift through all of the gears to spread the lubricant evenly through the drivetrain. Then use a rag to wipe off any excess oil.

  16. He then walked back to his car, intending to begin living life to the fullest. He turned the key in the ignition and his car blew up.