A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. "Jane" grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 when she is strangely attracted to a drifter.
She falls in love with him but, just when things are looking up for Jane, a series of disasters strike: First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery, doctors discover that Jane has both sets of sex organs and to save her life, they must surgically convert "her" to a "him." Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.
Reeling from disasters, rejected from society, and scorned by fate, "he" becomes a drunkard and a drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child, as well.
Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar called Pop's Place and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, but on the condition he join the "time traveler corps."
Both of them enter a time machine and the bartender drops the drifter off in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted a young orphan girl who subsequently becomes pregnant.
The bartender then goes forward nine months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops the baby off in an orphanage back in 1945. The bartender drops the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985 to enlist in the time traveler corps.
The drifter eventually gets his life together and becomes a respected and elderly member of the time traveler corps. He disguises himself as a bartender and takes on his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop's Place in 1970.
hey hey hey this is a synopsis of "—All You Zombies—" by Robert A. Heinlein! Well I guess that's why it's called copypasta
ReplyDeletemy brain is full of fuck!!!!11
ReplyDeletesame!
DeleteSo hold on: During the birth, as she is having the baby, the doctors discover she has a dick. So to save her life, they convert her to a MALE? As she's having the baby?
ReplyDeleteso...basically "Jane" had a baby with herself, gave birth to herself, and learned about time travel as he got older...
ReplyDelete*head explodes*
PARADOXES UP THE WAZOO WHY THE FUCK HASN'T THE UNIVERSE IMPLODED YET
ReplyDeleteand it's funnier if I replace "time traveler corps." with "time agency" in my head.
Anon2: Of thanks for saying that, because I was just thinking about the fact he/she fucked his/her daughter.
ReplyDeleteBut I knew instantly the plot of the story (you shouldn`t of posted the JUST after posting anothe time travel story)
...My brain hurts.
ReplyDeletewhattttttttttt
ReplyDeleteHe is his own boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, grandfather, and life-saver... YES!
ReplyDeleteUOU! O_O WHAT THE... Holly fucking crap! That hurt my head! I guess I understood. Wow man, that was amazing! A true time paradox but... When "Jane" was originally born? Something happened before so this time paradox could happen.
ReplyDeleteFucking time travel.
ReplyDeletehttp://djanthro.bandcamp.com/album/orphan
ReplyDeletemad fucking incest
ReplyDelete@ July 25th Anon.
ReplyDeleteis it incest or just an advanced form of masturbation?
wat.
ReplyDeleteA girl grew up and had sex with some guy, then had a baby that was kidnapped. This girl was then converted to be a man who ended up having sex with some girl and kidnapping her baby later. This baby later grew up and had sex with some guy, then had a baby that was kidnapped. This girl was then converted to be a man who ended up having sex with some girl and kidnapping her baby later. This baby later grew up and had sex with some guy, then had a baby that was kidnapped. This girl was then converted to be a man who ended up having sex with some girl and kidnapping her baby later. This baby later....(so on and so forth)
ReplyDeleteIf you guys are interested in this stuff, you should read the book I read this story from:
ReplyDeleteMichio Kaku Hyperspace
A scientific Odyssey through parallel universes, time warps, and the 10th dimension.
I love this type of topic and I look into it very seriously.
My mind is fucked beyond all recognition.
ReplyDelete@ 7/26th anon
ReplyDeletelolz, best theory ever, would definitely have to say some sort of advanced masturbation
Did anyone else find it weird that she/he was "reborn"?
ReplyDeleteI ...don't even want to know. I just.... no. Just no.
ReplyDeleteI love this story. One of my favorite ones on the site.
ReplyDeleteMy brain...IT HURTS!
ReplyDeletethis isn't possible. Jane cannot go back in time to screw herself, then have a baby who ends up BEING herself and being kidnapped then beginning life as herself and her own daughter in an orphanage who will end up being attracted to herself later and having the child only to repeat it all over again plus becoming the bartender way later in life to make this all work. Someone cannot possibly be themselves in four different forms all in one lifetime not even in time travel. It is impossible and debunked thoroughly. If this was possible everyone would be everyone else around them at some point in time in their life at different time intervals and reality just doesnt work that way because we are all separate and are all OURSELVES not anyone else. This is also why time travel cannot and never will be possible.
ReplyDeleteHEY MAN, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!!!11
ReplyDelete1) Anonymous July 2, 2012. You just had to be the killjoy didn't you?
ReplyDelete2) .... My brain is full of fuck!
wo wo wo wo wo wait a fuck what... im...
ReplyDeleteduh!
MINDFUCKED!!!