Tuesday, August 17, 2010


You know those long, involved ritual creepypastas? The ones that involve a million different steps? the ones where if you breathe at the wrong second, you die? Ever ponder who figured it out? It couldn't have been trial and error. You don't get a second try at something like that.

The answer's pretty simple, actually. No one figured it out. He already knew.

There's...an entity, I suppose you could call it, although I always think of it as a little boy. He seems to enjoy playing around with people, you see.

He knows all the rituals or, at least, all the real ones. Sometimes, he spreads out the information. Ever feel inspired to write some piece of horror that seemed to contain elements that didn't even exist in your nightmares? Ever have a disturbing idea for some horrible but compelling rite that seemed to 'just come to you'? It might have been him working through you.

If you ever get one of those flashes, write it down and post it. I can't guarantee your health if you don't; he can be awfully persistant about getting his little messages out. Even if you're just babbling it to your safe padded walls, you're still saying it.

At the same time, if you get one of those flashes...halfway through writing, stop and open up the instant messenger client of your choice. IM yourself. If all you see are your words echoed back at you, give up there. Either it really is just your imagination that gave you the idea, or he doesn't want to talk.

If the message comes back with odd typos that weren't there before, new capitalization, or different punctuation, well...I'm sure you've seen enough pasta with puzzles in it to know what to do to find the message and respond.

If he likes you or finds you amusing, he'll talk to you directly there. If he gives you a new puzzle, keep going and be careful. They get harder and harder, turning from simple wordplay to numerology and esoteric mystical references to God knows what else, but also become more and more compelling.

It's harder to just close the window and walk away. The feeling you're just about to reach a solution never eases. The next time some poor soul's found slumped over their computer, killed by starvation, exhaustion, and neglect...maybe it was just some game, right? But...maybe ihe just wanted to solve that one damn puzzle.

If he does greet you directly, you can name three things you desire - any three at all. He will give you, in complete detail, rituals to acieve those things. If you're lucky, it will be a single rite that grants all three. They may be dangerous, but they will be clear and detailed paths to gain what you want through paranormal means.

Of course, there are catches.

The first: you have to spread the rituals on. You can embellish them as you wish and add your own spin or even lie outright, but you have to leave the goal and most of the steps in tact. In addition, you have to put it somewhere where people will see - a forum, a notice board in real life, on the door of a building, wherever. The more popular it is, the happier he will be...and you DO want his blessing.

The second catch is that he always omits some key step. As long as you've posted the ritual up in public, you will know when the time comes what that step is; it could be anything from drawing a squiggle to murdering your true love in cold blood. You could have to give up your soul, mutilate a limb, drown yourself...or you could just have to hop backwards two times. You won't know what it is until you're buried deep in the rite, unable to stop.

So when you talk to him, be nice and friendly. Make sure you amuse him. He's kind enough (most of the time), though just a bit mischievous.

How did I learn all this, you ask? I don't really know, it just came to me.

Inspiration, you could say.


  1. I thought this was intruiging, somewhat like the midnight game instructions

  2. Love the end, kinda makes me wonder what unique step is missing in this ritual.
    Probably how you eventually have to bend over for him. :D

    1. I think the unique step IS the unique step, the author said it comes to you while writing after all.