SPONGEBOB MIST SUICIDE LOST HIDDEN LOST TAPE MOUSE.avi

ONCE IWUS MAKIN A EPISDE AND STAN CAME AND SEID

SPUNGEBAB SUXS!!!! AIR THIS ISTEAD!!!!!!!'

N HE GAVE MEH A FLOOPY DISC OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I POOT IT IN MAH COPOOTER

AND THEN MAH COPOOTER SEID DOO NAWUHT AIR DIS AND I WUS LIEK NO!!!!!111 SO I CLCKED ON TEH AVI FIUL N ET CAEM OWN AND I SAHW TEH TILE CERD N IT SEID

SPONGEBOB MIST SUICIDE LOST HIDDEN LOST TAPE MOUSE.avi

IT BUGUN WITH SPUNGEBAB SAING HEH HAETES HES LIF N WAHNTS TUH COHMET SUEASIDE

SUH DEN HEH WUNT UN TUH THU RED MIST AND HE LIEKEDIT N HEH STEYD N DEAHR 4 2394839449037589479857932 HOURS N I WUS LIEK OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND DEN HEH FLUH TUH TEH MUUN N DEID UH HOARABULL PAENFOOL DEFF WIDH BWOOD N GOOTS EVEWEWEH

N IHT SEID TEH EENSD

N I WUS LIEK PMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goosebumps

The Dogs

Spengbab

As a fan of TV DX, I always catch weird things from faraway places. Usually it's a transmission or two that I can't find an explanation for and I usually forget them almost immediately. But there was one that I will never forget...

I was looking for a signal one night and caught a high definition test card. It was the old Indian test card, but the Indian had no face; it was just a skull accompanied by white noise. I kept my hand away from the control and prepared myself to see what this was.

Suddenly, an episode of Spongebob Squarepants started. It was dubbed in an unknown language; it didn't matter to me, so I kept watching.

The episode started with Spongebob going down to the kitchen. In this episode, he found a chest; he looked at it for a moment before opening it. A monster that could only have come from a Lovecraft story popped out. It filled Spongebob's holes with its tentacles until it was entirely inside the sponge's body. Spongebob stood up, his body covered in goo and his face deformed. The image was burned in my mind and will never leave.

Spongebob walked out of his house like a zombie until he arrived at Patrick's. The stone opened and Spongebob's tongue came out; it stuck to Patrick's head and started sucking. After a while, Patrick fell down and Spongebob walked up to him. The tentacles jumped out of the sponge and entered the starfish's body, changing him into an equally horrible form.

The two walked around town like zombies, violently killing anything they could find. Both arrived at Sandy's house, violently entering as the water flooded the dome. Both immobilized Sandy with their tongues and began to sodomize and rape her with them. Some of the images will never be forgotten.

After finishing with Sandy, both Spongebob and Patrick became skeletons; Sandy stayed still, crying while the dome flooded with water. The episode ended after that and the signal cut.

I have never seen any other transmission from that frequency.

HuIu Dot Com - Dick in a Box

HuIu Dot Com - Lemonade Stand

HuIu Dot Com - Songs Written About a Girl

HuIu Dot Com - Stewie the High School Cool Kid

HuIu Dot Com - Lois Rapes Peter

agamemnon counterpart

Grape Jelly

"What the hell, you stupid fucks? Stop camping or I'll shove a scalding iron rod up your urethra!" I grabbed another handful of pizza rolls off my plate and tried to swallow them all at once. I gagged a little and some fell onto my shirt, but I could manage. I was particularly furious, having been spawn-killed in Call of Duty for the past fourty-five minues. I couldn't just leave - oh, no - leaving meant that those insipid cum guzzlers won.

I blurted some more profanity into my microphone and dabbed my forehead with a towel. Having wiped the pizza grease from my hand onto my Pokemon bed sheets, I nonchalantly reached into my boxer shorts and scratched my testicles. After a couple of minutes, I pulled my hand back out and slowly raised it up to my nose. I took a deep whiff and instantly realized something was wrong.

It smelled like spaghetti. What the hell? When was the last time I even had spaghetti? A chill ran down my spine. Thoughts ran through my head regarding diseases that caused your scrotum to smell like Italian food; I convinced myself I was being ridiculous and focused on my important game session.

Early the next morning, I was eating some Cap'n Crunch in my dining room downstairs. A few dishes from God knows when still lay on the table; they couldn't hold a candle to the shitstorm in the kitchen. I shifted a little and felt my chair squeak under me.

"Oh, Cap'n," I said while fluttering my eyes. "You'd never leave me, would you?" I stood up in order to reach the box to pour some more when my hand accidentally flipped over the bowl. The remaining milk splashed all over my legs.

"Fucking NIGGERS!" I balled my hands into chubby fists and punched Cap'n right in his smug little mouth. The box fell over and cereal spilled out onto the table like an eviscerated monkey's dinner. I calmed myself, pinching the bridge of my nose and sighing. I'd need some paper towels. I headed into the kitchen and sidestepped around some of the garbage bags. I reached the counter with little time to spare and grabbed the whole roll just to be safe.

After cleaning up my mess, I went into my room, took off my boxer shorts, and thre wthem into my hamper. I grabbed some underwear out of my drawer, but before I had the chance to put them on, I remembered my experience from last evening. I stared down at my crotch in silence for a couple of minutes before mustering up the courage to grab my balls. I handled them around a bit before disengaging and bringing my hand up to my face. I gasped and staggered backwards, falling onto my bed and probably splitting a crack in the frame.

There was no doubt about it. Salt and vinegar chips. I fucking despise salt and vinegar chips. I was at a loss for words. Suddenly, I didn't feel safe in my own apartment. The rest of the day I pretty much sat around in a trance, trying to comprehend the implications of this phenomenon and drolling a little. Night came soon enough, giving me a chance to rest my mind. I fell asleep quickly.

My eyes opened drowsily as I woke up. I had kicked my covers to the side while I was asleep. My alarm clock read 2:17 AM. Ugh, whatever. I propped myself up to grab my covers and screamed. At the edge of my bed sat the most putrid, disgusting creature I had ever seen (no, I was NOT looking in a mirror). Its beady eyes were sunken into its contorted mockery of a face, with patches of hair dotting its scalp. Mottled grey flesh was peeling all over its body, and in some places there were clusters of tumors with puss leaking out. But the worst thing was its mouth. Oh, God, its mouth. It had no lips, and its long, yellow, gnarled teeth jutted out at an unnatural angle, with enough space in-between for its barbed tongue to hang out.

I wanted to puke, or scream, or something, but I was in shock. I began to move my legs when I realized that something was wrong with my crotch. I didn't dare look down to find out what it was. It was then that I noticed the...thing was holding something. A fucking knife. Wait, no... Now that my eyes were adjusting to the dimness, I could see the shape was wrong. What was that...a goddamn butter knife?

The monster raised its other hand slowly, revealing a small jar rested on its palm. It made what I assumed was a smile before slowly gurgling out the words,

"Today...is.......grape...jelly."

I screamed until I passed out.

The Elaborate Suicide Attempt

After his business failed and his wife left, a man decided to kill himself, but he wanted to be sure that eh wouldn't botch the operation. After some thought, he decided that hanging would be the bet method. He found a tree with a stout limb reaching out over the edge of a cliff 50 feet above the sea and chose his spot for the suicide.

Although he was eager to leave this world, he did not want to feel any pain. So he collected a few dozen sleeping pills. Of course, sleeping pills don't work immediately, and the man had read terrible stories of people who had taken half an hour to die at the end of a rope. He decided to shoot himself, too - jest to be on the safe side.

On the day he decided would be his last day, the man took the rope, the sleeping pills and the gun to the cliff. He swallowed the sleeping pills. He tied the rope to the branch and slipped the noose around his neck. He put the gun to his head and as he steeped off the edge of the cliff, he fired.

But the sudden drop threw off the man's aim. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope instead. The man plunged into the sea where he swallowed so much sea water that he vomited up the sleeping pills.

He swam ashore and resolved not to attempt suicide again.

footage_

Bob Ross

Before Bob Ross had a career television show, he shot his own home videos from his basement. This was even before he was in the Air Force. His brother, Jim Ross, recovered most of the tapes from Bob's ex-wife's home in 1995 before the fire that burned it down. There was one particular home video that disturbed him greatly, which he describes in the following text.

Most of Bob's tapes were almost generally the same as The Joy of Painting. They were fun to watch as this was an earlier version of his work and he had more of a cartoonish style back then.

I remember the last tape I watched. The video was labeled 'Joy of Painting' so I assumed that's where the title for his show came from. The tape started the same, typical way you'd see on the real show. He was smiling in his basement with a blank canvas and a cart of paints, ready to spill his imagination and make it come to life.

I noticed most of the paints on his palette were of dark reds and blacks; there were no blues, yellows, or any 'happy' colors.

Bob started out by saying, "Today is a surprise! You should all follow along as you watch this video, which will make the surprise your very own!"

He didn't say much after that, just dipped a small brush into black paint and went to work. The rest of the video has no sound. You could see his mouth moving and he would pause to point out certain techniques he was doing, but you couldn't hear what he was saying.

He continued to paint this huge mass of red and black, and it looked like nothing at all. By now, the whole canvas was covered with this spew of garbage and I never recall my brother painting anything this way, ever.

Twelve more minutes into the video, I noticed he seemed very trance-like. He kept painting and painting and it never really went anywhere. Then his brush strokes would get faster and his movements and smiling were becoming more crazed.

This went on for another ten minutes until Bob just dropped everything. The paint and brushes crashed to the floor and Bob furiously punched a hole in his canvas. Bob was smiling, but then he started to scream.

I don't want to tell you what happened in the next nine minutes, but I suppose I have to anyway. I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked to my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air!

Splendorman

Marble Yellowjackets

This is the first video in a Marble Hornets parody series. Watch the rest here.

DOOM: Repercussions of Evil SEEKING TRUTH VERSION

Zeke Strahm waited. The flames above him blinked and sparked out of the air. Slenderman was in the warehouse. He didn't see him, but had expected him now for days. His warnings to the Cheif were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Zeke was a police officer for many years. When he was young he watched the patrol cars and he said to dad "I want to be in the cars, daddy!"

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY SLENDERMAN"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the warehouse of Conaghan he knew there was Slenderman.

"This is the Cheif" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Slenderman!"

So Zeke gotted his 9mm and opened up the door.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said Conaghan

"I will shoot at him" said Slenderman and he fired the tentacles. Zeke shot at him and tried to kill him. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill Slenderman!" he shouted

Erik said "No, Zeke. You are the Slenderman!"

And then Zeke was Slenderman.

Barney

Hello there. I am a single father of two three-year old boys. Their favorite show is Barney and Friends.

...well, it used to be...until last night.

Yesterday, I was looking at my TV Guide when I saw something that caught my eye:

Tonight ONLY!

A LOST EPISODE OF BARNEY AND FRIENDS

FIRST AND ONLY CHANCE TO SEE IT!

AIRS AT 7:00!

Naturally, I asked my kids if they wanted to see it. Obviously, they said, "Yes." I got the popcorn ready. (They love to eat popcorn while watching Barney.)

When the time finally arrived, they rain into the living room, turned on the TV, and sat down on the couch with me. It started, and the familiar theme music began playing.

However, something wasn't right.

For starters, I could vaguely hear whispering during the music, and it sounded creepy. I shrugged it off, assuring myself that it was just my imagination. Anyway, the episode began like all of them do; the kids talked about something while holding a doll version of Barney.

Then, POOF! He comes to life, giggling like an idiot. He started speaking, and I turned it up slightly so we could hear it.

Barney sounded slightly weird, as if two people were talking at once - one with his normal voice, and another that sounded...demonic, to say the least. I tried to ignore it...but that's when I heard Barney (?) say, "Hi, kids. (childish giggling) Today, I'm going to teach you about...DEATH!"

I nearly fell out of my seat when I heard that. I wanted to turn it off, but for some reason, I...I couldn't. The show kept going.

Child 1: "What's death, Barney?"

Barney: "This is." His face suddenly turns angry and he grows teeth. He laughs evilly and bits the poor child's head off.

For some reason, my children kept watching, unaffected by the obviously disturbing stuff going on. Barney then proceeded to kill all of the children one by one, each time roaring. The children, at this point, started to run away from Barney, screaming and crying for their parents to save them.

Barney just chucked and said, in a demonic voice, "Mommy and Daddy can't help you!" He bit the helpless children in half, eating their brains and stomachs. Then Baby Bop and BJ came in, apparently not noticing the dead children.

"Well, Barney," Baby Bop said. "What did we learn today?" Barney grinned an evil grin and said directly to the camera....

"Remember kiddies, don't bother locking your doors and hiding under the bed because, sooner or later, I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU ALL!" He then laughed demonically.

the rest of the damn episode showed a distorted picture of Barney, with a blood-curdling scream. That was the last straw. I reached for the remote and turned it off. I looked to my left and realized that my children were nowhere to be seen. Thinking that they already ran into their room, I went in there. However, I didn't find them. That's when I heard a voice behind me.

"It's too late, Steven. I've already killed them, and now I'm going to kill you."

I turned around to see a demonic, blood covered Barney slowly walking towards me. Even while he killed me, he still sang that FUCKING SONG....

"I love you...you love me...we're a happy family..."

Zach and Megan

Hellooooooooooooooo rang a voice in the forest. Whhhwhat do you want yelled Zach. It's just me said his girlfriend Megan. Oh I knew that... then she started to fade...... ZACH!!! She yelled as she dissapeared. Whwhwhat's happening yelled Zach! Then he saw it. It was a creature in the tree moaning. Zach looked up and screamed, then he mustered up the courage and then he asked whwhat are your giant eyes for? Tooooo look through and through. What are your giant claws for? said Zach seeming frightened. Toooo scratch your grave!! and whwhwhwhat are your giant teeth for? said Zach almost whispering. Then the thing replied TO CHOMP YOUR BONES!!!! Zach started running and when he was in a clearing he looked back and he saw his house. So he ran inside and there were three things 2 graves in the yard and the monster. Zach screamed so loudly he died. THE END?

The 13th

If you use the Julian or the Gregorian calender beware:

February of all the months of the year has only 28 days. Why so, is a question that crosses the mind once in a while, well... it is not a coincidence; it is a hint. If you take the extra days of the other months so that every month only has 28 days like February there will be enough days to creat a 13th month with... 28 days. Sure there is enough to have a month or two with 29 days, but there will be a 13th month in which you can have the 13th day of the 13th month. Good thing we have used a 12 month system for so long, because if it is the 13th day of the 13th month and you know it is that date: 'it' will happen.

Note: It IS possible to learn the existence when such a date