Sunday, December 12, 2010

The $1 Million Box

There was once this old couple that lived out in the woods. Their nearest neighbors were 10 acres away and thay had a pretty happy, quiet life.

One cold, rainy night as they sat in their chairs in front of the fire talking and drinking hot coca, they heard someone rapping at the door. They opened it and an old man with long stringy grey hair, and missing quite a few teeth entered.

They offered him hot coca and a place in front of the fire. They noticed he was clutching an old, ordinary looking wooden box. "Excuse me sir, what is that you are holding?" asked the woman politely.

"Ah, so good of you to ask, this, is the fortune and fate of many,"

The couple, bewildered questioned what this was supposed to mean.

"Well, I will tell you, this box is over 200 years old, and it has moved from person to person, it has never stopped because of no consideration of others. If you walk into any woods in the world, and find the cresent moon stone, and bring it back to me, then when I open this box, a million dollars will have appeared and it will be all yours. But the catch is, if you take the million dollars, someone you don't know will die."

The man was hesitant to do this, because someone would die, even though it would be someone they didn't know, he still thought it a terrible thing to do. But his wife bullied him into it, "Oh, it'll probably be some homeless person on the verge of death anyway." she said.

So he went out into the woods, and searched aimlessly for hours, until he found a smoothe stone, in the shape of a cresent moon.

When he got back home he presented it to the old man. "Are you sure this is what you want? Remember, someone you don't know will die,"

"Yes, this is what I want."

The old man opened the box, and there just as he had said, was the million dollars. The woman snatched it and immediately began to count, when she was satisfied, the old man picked up the box and said, "I'd better be off,"

He opened the door, and stepped out into the rain, and before he closed the door, turned to face the couple and said. "I'd better be off to give this box to someone who doesn't know you."

11 comments:

  1. :O

    I guess its not so fun when your on the other side.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is just a stupid ripoff of the Twilight Zone episode 'The Box.' Go watch the episode instead. :/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, this was a Twilight Zone episode, and it's even a Movie. Seriously. :|

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, it's definitely my favorite twilight zone episode!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Try to be original. Good concept, but another retell makes it dumb. Just for that, I'm giving it the lowest it can go! >:)

    That's right. I'm hating on this!

    ReplyDelete
  6. It wasn't just and old Twillight Zone episode, and it's name isn't "The Box"; that is the crappy movie loosely based on it.

    It is "Button, Button" By Richard Matheson.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Button,_Button_(short_story)#Short_story

    ReplyDelete
  7. The problem with this was not only the fact tha it's not original, but the fact that it is poorly written. The grammar is confusing and the plot makes no sense. Fail pasta is fail.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "So then the couple murdered the man on their front porch, hid the body, and used the box over and over again to amass a fortune. They lived happily ever after."

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Reverend Al SharptonMarch 29, 2012 at 3:22 AM

    Although I've never seen the things this was based on, I'll take everyone's word here that it was unoriginal. Well if you're gonna use the unoriginal plot, why don't we spice up the story to make it so beautiful, no one will care about its unoriginality...

    --------

    There was once this old white couple that lived out in the woods. Their nearest neighbors were infinity inches away and thay had a pretty happy, quiet, foreigner-free life.

    One hot, steamy night as they sat in their chairs in front of the fire talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd and drinking hot Mountain Dew, they heard someone rapping at the door.

    "Yo yo nigga nigga wut wut."

    The old couple quickly got their pair of his & her anti-black shotguns and yelled from inside, "Begone with your dangerous fake genre of singing, wretched unwhite!"

    "...I've got a box with a million zillion bucks in it though, yo."

    The old woman was far more greedy than racist, so she opened up the door.

    After mercilessly raping and murdering and raping again and again the old woman, the man who wasn't white turned to the old man with a "wut wut" pose.

    "....phew! Now that that wife of mine is gone, I can finally unhide my secret lover from the chimney!"

    The old white man freed his Asian gay pantsless lover Toki Doki Toshi from the chimney. The nonwhite saw that he didn't necessarily scare the white man.

    "Well....like I waz zayin', I got dis here box with the moneez in it. You want it?"

    The whitey nodded.

    "I warn yo, if you take dis muhnee.......I'm actually gonna come over there and nig-kill you, a'ight?"

    "Bring it on." The white man opened the box and took the money. The black man decided not to do anything and left. The old man then turned to the Asian.

    "Well Toki, I guess you can say that our guest decided to..."

    The old man put on sunglasses.

    "...reNIG on his promise to murder us."

    "はあああああああああああいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい!!!!!!!"

    "....goddamnit Toki learn some English."

    ReplyDelete