Monday, November 8, 2010

Pregnancy

Since before I can remember, I've wanted to be a mother. It seemed my whole childhood and teenager years were spent yearning for a child of my own. By the time I was nine, I had names and color schemes for the nursery picked out. All I needed was someone to make them with. But college was disappointing. I went through a while string of bad boyfriends and bad father material.

Getting on with my career didn't seem to help much. I realized, though, when I was twenty-seven - and there were no suitable prospects on the line - that, technically, I didn't need a man to have a child with. I found a sperm donor bank, chose the best prospect they had, got out my turkey baster and...well...hoped for the best.

I was overjoyed when my first pregnancy test came out positive. My doctor was surprised to see me coming in sooner than he'd expected. Before I was four weeks along, I had the nursery painted and the furniture set up. Toys and diapers, bottles and books, bibs and coveralls...I had everything a new mother would need.

I couldn't explain all the wait I was losing, however. I kept getting thinner - everything except for my belly. My friends all joked that it had to be at least twins, or the biggest baby they'd ever seen.

I got weary of the kicking somewhere in the third trimester...and the scratching.

Just one more week until my due date.

I just wish it would stop gnawing.

16 comments:

  1. Thank God I'm male.

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  2. What tha fuck is this supposed to be?

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  3. To those of you who don't get it, instead of a normal human sperm, she accidently got a tiger sperm.

    Yeah, you don't need to know any more.

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  4. I figured it was a turkey.

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  5. I'm male Aswell But I Always Wondered What It Would Be Like To Be Pregnant...

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  6. Thank God I never wanted kids and have no interest in getting pregnant.

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  7. Well, I guess it seems that that sperm bank either doesn't screen it's doners, or it doesn't screen it's patients!

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  8. no. she's obviously the host of the young of a Xenomrph. in 9 months, it will burst out of her stomach and proceed TO TERRORIZE THE COMMUNITY!

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  9. All the wait she began to lose? God damn. ALL THAT WAIT.

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    Replies
    1. if she lost all the wait, doesn't that mean she should already have the baby by now?

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    2. I've heard of people losing it while waiting, but never of people who actually lose wait...

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  10. BUT WHO WAS BASTER?!

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